FOLLOWING IRELAND’S LACKLUSTRE performance in this year’s Eurovision, questions have been asked about who exactly we should send next year.
Samantha Mumba has volunteered her services, but we also think it’s worth considering Rubber Bandits.
1. Firstly, they’ve proven time and time again that they’re capable of writing a decent bop
Seven years on, Horse Outside holds up as an undeniably catchy (and hilarious) pop song. Frankly, we don’t hear it in the club enough.
2. This year’s Eurovision demonstrated that hiding your face is key to progressing to the final
Norway’s entry sported a mysterious Daft Punk helmet while Azerbaijan featured a man wearing a horse mask. Concealing your identity with a plastic bag seems like the next logical step.
Enter Rubberbandits.
3. We’ve played it sage since Dustin The Turkey. It’s time to shake things up and send out something utterly mad
No more earnest ballads. Let’s play Europe at their own game and send out a song about shifting or sad Dads.
4. Can you just take a second to imagine their little ‘intro’ video?
Every Eurovision artist has to record a little video showcasing their country. (If memory serves correctly, Brendan Murray’s featured him in Croke Park.) Imagine Rubberbandits bringing Europe on a guided tour of Limerick.
Don’t listen to any gowls who claim Limerick isn’t nice. Here’s where we have cans.
5. Honestly, what have we got to lose at this point?
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All we need to do is distract Louis Walsh and we can make this happen, people.
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6. Plus they seem like they’re mad up for it…
They’ve even come up with a ‘political’ concept.
Do it, RTÉ.
Signed,
The people of Ireland
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